<\/p>\n

Document name<\/h4>\n

FAQs: ACC levy refunds for 2015\/2016 and 2016\/2017 periods<\/em><\/p>\n

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Intended audience<\/h4>\n

Mainly our contact centre staff. This is for when they\u2019re talking to customers who\u2019ve relicensed their vehicles recently, have been charged the incorrect ACC levy fee and have received a refund cheque in the mail.<\/p>\n

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Original sentence<\/h4>\n

Where it has been identified and is possible to update this it has been undertaken ensuring future band allocation is correct.
\n[22 words]<\/p>\n

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Rewritten sentence<\/h4>\n

Where possible, we\u2019ve identified and updated affected sub-models to make sure they\u2019re assigned the correct levy band going forward.
\n[19 words]<\/p>\n

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Judges’ comments<\/h4>\n

This is a standard phone statement for staff to explain an overcharging error to those who\u2019ve received a refund. Phone statements to the public desperately need to be in human language, not robot jargon, so that staff don\u2019t have to translate while talking. Not having this can greatly affect brand perception in the public eye.<\/p>\n

The original sentence was almost impossible to understand and gave no reassurance that the problem was resolved. It held multiple ideas, which went in circles and obscured the message. IF the issue is identified AND it can be updated AND the band allocation is correct, you won\u2019t be pinged again.<\/p>\n

The rewrite manages to capture it all as one idea. It uses a friendly, active voice and the clarity and use of words is great! It makes it so much better and leads the caller to the easy conclusion that they will not, in fact, be pinged again.<\/p>\n

It also has a lovely use of contractions (we\u2019ve, not we have; they\u2019re, not they are). But it could go further by having \u2018in future\u2019 instead of \u2018going forward\u2019, and clarifying the internal jargon \u2018sub-models\u2019.<\/p>\n

This rewrite shows how little changes can make a big difference. Well done!<\/p>\n

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Media statement<\/h4>\n

Plain English at the NZ Transport Agency is all about helping our customers make great transport choices, and keeping everyone safe on our roads.<\/p>\n

We recognise that even the smallest sentence can make all the difference between a customer understanding what they need to do, or not.<\/p>\n

In my role as a Publishing Advisor, I go the extra mile to make every sentence count. I\u2019m really happy to have my efforts recognised as a finalist in the Best Plain English Sentence Transformation category for this year\u2019s Awards.<\/p>\n

Steph Prince<\/strong>
\nPublishing Advisor<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Document name FAQs: ACC levy refunds for 2015\/2016 and 2016\/2017 periods Intended audience Mainly our contact centre staff. This is for when they\u2019re talking to customers who\u2019ve relicensed their vehicles recently, have been charged the incorrect ACC levy fee and have received a refund cheque in the mail. Original sentence Where it has been identified […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":1944,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":[],"yoast_head":"\n